


Once In Royal Victoria's City

by Riandra (LostWithoutMyDetective)



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28323564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostWithoutMyDetective/pseuds/Riandra
Summary: Entering Hades Lord of the Dead's December Calendar Challenge again - from 4 years ago!
Kudos: 1





	1. If We Make It Through December

_From Hades Lord of the Dead: Watson studying medicine in his university days._

T’was the night after Rag Week, and all round the quad  
St. Andrew’s young hopefuls were praying to God  
These last days of revision might just be enough  
To show their professors they had the right stuff.

Watson sighed as he trudged up the stairs to his room,  
Heavy books only serving to deepen his gloom.  
Nervous systems and skeletons danced in his head,  
With two hours of study still left before bed.

Then out from his dorm room there came a great sneeze,  
Its victim proceeding to cough, hack and wheeze.  
Watson winced – he’d forgotten his roommate was ill;  
Of Peter’s complaint he had quite had his fill.

“Any better, old chap?” Watson set his books down,  
The thump causing Peter MacDonald to frown.  
“Oh, my head! Watson, must you? I’ve never felt worse!”  
“Well, first thing tomorrow, I’ll order the hearse.”

From Peter’s expression, he’d failed to amuse,  
Sharp retort quickly lost in a string of ‘achoo’s.  
Any hopes of more reading tonight were soon gone,  
As sneezing and groaning continued anon.

Watson grimaced, then laid down a treatise on sutures,  
Giving up on his books for foreseeable future.  
To be ill for exams would be wretched indeed,  
And what kind of doctor ignored a friend’s need?

The linctus was foul, he would much rather cough;  
The blankets too hot, Watson must take them off!  
His head and back ached, how he wished he were dead...  
Why was Watson so quiet, was it something he’d said?

But, at last, the small hours brought the invalid sleep,  
Watson greatly relieved – he’d a schedule to keep!  
Fussy patients might well come in constant succession,  
But one more such roommate, he’d rethink his profession...


	2. Blue Christmas

_From mrspencil: Holmes accompanies Watson on a home visit._

“This is outrageous, Watson! What _can_ they have been thinking?!”

“I don’t know, Holmes...” 

The weary dejection in Watson’s voice stopped the detective’s pacing cold, heading for the sideboard instead. Watson automatically drained the glass Holmes handed him as if it were water, expression uncharacteristically wooden, but his eyes gave him away, as always, and what Holmes could read there smote him to the heart. 

That _damn_ telegram... and just two days before Christmas, of all things! Whatever their grasp of legal jargon might be, Messrs Strathern and MacLeod still had everything to learn about such essential matters as timing.

“I don’t suppose... well...” Watson had already been far more generous towards his nearest and dearest this year than he could really afford. “Perhaps you would consider...”

A faint smile tugged at the corners of Watson’s mouth. “That’s most kind of you, Holmes... but Harry was my brother, in spite of everything. At least this latest trip home will allow me to do _something_ for him!”

“I can’t imagine paying death dues in arrears was what either of you had in mind,” Holmes murmured, gently gripping his friend’s shoulder. “When do we leave?”


	3. Scarlet Ribbons

_From mrspencil: Knowing he has ‘art in the blood’, Holmes sets out to sketch a London scene._

“For the love of God, Lestrade, this couldn’t be simpler!” Holmes snapped, going down on one knee in the snow and beginning to draw. “Look: the victim was standing here, the murderer came at him from the alley... What?”

“Well, thank you, Mr. Holmes...” Lestrade said slowly, carefully, while the constable behind him made a choking noise, looking pale. “You’ve certainly illustrated the point very well... but perhaps you could agree to map out all future crime scenes with a pencil?”

_A/N: Sorry for the gory entry, folks, but I couldn’t resist the opportunity to fill such a tempting prompt literally!_


	4. Deck the Halls

_From Book girl fan: An Irregular has an adventure._

“Ow!”

“Well, sit still, then!”

“Good heavens!” Watson stopped dead in the kitchen doorway, eyebrows raised at the scene before him. “Wiggins, what on earth...?”

“ ’Lo, Doctor.” Wiggins gave Watson a pained grin over Mrs. Hudson’s shoulder, an impressive bruise already blossoming under his left eye. 

The doctor nodded as understanding dawned, inhaling the savoury aroma hanging in the air with relish. “The Irregulars’ gingerbread men, Mrs. Hudson?”

“Which are probably burning as we speak!” the woman snapped, opening a jar of witch hazel and smearing some on a cloth pad. 

Watson took the hint, crossing the kitchen and grabbing a pair of thick dishtowels to open the oven door. “Just a little darker than normal, the boys will still enjoy them. And don’t feel too badly, lad,” he added, smiling in sympathy at the sheepish Wiggins. “Holmes and I learned early on never to surprise Mrs. Hudson when she’s holding a rolling pin.”


	5. Of Mice and Men

_From Sparky Dorian: "This is hardly my fault!"_

“So... let me see if I have this right: Basil was intrigued by the Christmas crackers Mrs. Hudson and I were pulling yesterday, and wanted to know what caused the bang.”

“That’s right.”

“And, on learning that the compound in question was silver fulminate, asked for the appropriate chemicals from your supplies in order to mix his own?”

“Er, yes – silver nitrate, nitric acid and ethanol.”

“Knowing full well that silver fulminate can _spontaneously combust_ in amounts larger than a few grains?”

“This is hardly my fault, Watson! I only gave Basil enough to make one _mouse_ -sized cracker – that should have been safe enough!”

“Except that silver fulminate is also shock sensitive and needs careful handling in _any_ quantity... and Basil knows as much about preventive housekeeping as you do, Holmes. What exactly was it he tripped over while carrying the beaker, Dawson?”

“One of Mrs. Judson’s best cushions – well, it was.”

“And is now off all casework until his hearing returns, in addition to regrowing the singed whiskers.” 

“He should be feeling more himself again by New Year.”

“DAWSON! WHERE HAVE YOU HIDDEN MY VIOLIN?”

“Grant me strength... All right, I needed to visit the apothecary this afternoon, anyhow. Anything you want while I’m there?”

“Some more aloe leaves, thank you, Doctor.”


	6. You're A Mean One, Mr Scrooge

_From Aleine Skyfire: Holmes and Watson watch a Christmas movie or cartoon. What is it and how do they react to it?_

_December, 1901._

"I'm sorry, Holmes. It simply didn't occur to me that since you'd never actually read 'A Christmas Carol', you wouldn't be expecting Jacob Marley's face to appear like that! It's nothing to be embarrassed about, you know."

"Is that why you didn't startle?"

"Not exactly... Remember, I've already seen a number of Booth's films, and Méliès before that. After a while, you get to anticipate the sorts of effects they use. It's remarkable how Booth adapted his skills as a stage magician for the cinema!"

"Hmmph."

"I expect in this case they simply superimposed one piece of celluloid over another for a few frames. What a pity they couldn't make the thing longer, it just wasn't the same with the other three spirits left out!"

"Marley seemed to shame Scrooge into repentance well enough on his own."

"Mm. If it were only that easy in real life, eh, Holmes? Imagine if kindly spirits were to help you and I on cases – or join the police force!"

"I shudder to think... But as I've said many times, Watson..."

"Yes, I know: No ghosts need apply to this agency."

"Precisely. Now, what say you to getting acquainted with some more convivial spirits in the bar before heading home?"

* * *

**A/N:** 'Scrooge, or Marley's Ghost' was the very first film adaptation of 'A Christmas Carol'. The film featured impressive trick effects by 1901 standards, superimposing Marley's face over the door knocker, and displaying scenes from Scrooge's youth on a black curtain in his bedroom.


	7. We Wish You A Merry Christmas

_From Spockologist: Holmes breaks a bone._

"Did you know, Watson, that furcula means 'little fork' in Latin?"

"Well, that makes sense, I suppose..."

"Though its name in English used to be a merrythought, right up until a few decades ago."

"Really."

"And this particular tradition actually has its roots with the ancient Etruscans. They believed that birds possessed divine powers, so they would preserve..."

"Holmes."

"Yes?"

"Shut up and pull, will you? Your goose is getting cold."


	8. A Virgin Unspotted

_From Aleine Skyfire: Write an AU ending to one of the canon stories!_

“Well, I am afraid I can’t help you, Lestrade,” said Holmes. “The fact is that I knew this fellow Milverton, that I considered him one of the most dangerous men in London, and that I think there are certain crimes which the law cannot touch, and which therefore, to some extent, justify private revenge...”

“Well, be that as it may, Mr. Holmes,” Lestrade interrupted, “Milverton’s death wasn’t precisely what I came to speak to you about.”

Holmes blinked. “What? You _don’t_ wish Watson and I to help you discover the murderers?”

“Oh, I think we have sufficient evidence to lay our hands on any guilty parties at our leisure,” Lestrade answered, his tone perfectly serious, but with an odd little smile lurking at the corners of his eyes and mouth. “No, no, this particular crime is of quite a different sort – and I hope you’ll believe, sirs, how very sorry I am to be coming to you on such a sordid errand.”

“Whatever can you mean?” I demanded, the sinking feeling in my stomach returning with a vengeance. What on earth was the man playing at?

“Breach of promise, Doctor. It seems that one of the intruders had gained a detailed knowledge of the house and its occupants by becoming engaged to one of the housemaids, Agatha Trent, a contract he clearly had no intention of honouring.” Lestrade’s smile became a decided smirk as his audience changed colour, one pale, the other scarlet. “And fortunately, Miss Trent was not at all _vague_ in her description of ‘Mr. Brian Escott,’ erstwhile plumber. I’m sure you’d be happy to assist in tracking down this bounder so that the poor, destitute young woman can be properly compensated?”


	9. Do You Hear What I Hear?

_From Sparky Dorian: Babysitting._

“Is it my imagination,” I wondered aloud before the fire one evening, “or has Basil’s violin playing actually gotten worse lately?”

“No, Watson, it isn’t just you,” Holmes grunted from the depths of his chair. “Dawson informed me this morning that Mrs. Judson has her two young nephews visiting this weekend, who have been determinedly destroying the apartment since they arrived. Apparently, they are now enchanted with Basil’s violin and refusing to give it back. Nevertheless, I consider that a perfectly acceptable alternative to their discovering his hidden chemistry set.”

“Agreed,” I replied heartily, returning to my newspaper. No wonder Holmes had so carefully locked his own chemicals away earlier!


	10. O Holy Night

_From Winter Winks 221: An unusual Christmas feast._

“Is something the matter, Doctor?”

“Not at all, Your Holiness. I’ve simply never seen so many fish and seafood dishes on one table before!”

“ _Sì_ , the Feast of the Seven Fishes. My family have always partaken on Christmas Eve since I was a boy, and it would give me great pleasure to share that tradition with you and Mr. Holmes. I hope he will not be long delayed.”

“I assure you, Your Holiness, Holmes and I are as anxious as you to bring the murderer of Cardinal Tosca to justice.”

“Then please to be seated, Doctor. _Benedic Domine nos et haec tua dona..._ ”

* * *

A/N: Originating in southern Italy, The Feast of the Seven Fishes is a tradition which rose from Catholic abstention from eating meat or animal fats at Christmas. Though it has no official role in the Roman Catholic calendar, the feast is said to represent the significance of the number seven in the Bible.


	11. A Case of Soldiers

_From Sparky Dorian: A peek into Christmases past._

“Well!” I exclaimed to Holmes, as Lestrade returned to Scotland Yard with the precious black pearl in his pocket. “What an extraordinary case! Who would’ve thought such a mundane object could hold such priceless treasure?”

“You said the very same about the blue carbuncle hidden in the Christmas goose, if I recall,” Holmes smiled. “Although, Watson, even that adventure was not the first case I ever had of its kind.”

“Really?” It wasn’t often I caught Holmes in a communicative mood over early cases.

“Indeed.” Holmes cast himself into his armchair, stifling a yawn as the usual post-case lethargy crept back up on him. “One Christmas, I assisted Lestrade in breaking up a smuggling ring. The culprits were melting down stolen silver and casting it into new moulds... of toy soldiers.”

I gaped. “Of course... Once painted, no one would ever think those heavy little figures weren’t simply made of lead!” And how many families would think that a missing box of soldiers after Christmas was due to anything but a child’s carelessness?

“Precisely. Fortunately, we were able to track down most of the purchased sets discreetly, and without the press getting wind of it.” Holmes chuckled in satisfaction, and I had to join in, although not without a pang of sympathy. That Christmas would have been a great deal less jolly for some parents, having found out that they’d unwittingly been hiding a king’s ransom under the tree!

* * *

A/N: Shameless promotion for an earlier project of mine: The Back-to-Front Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Writers at a loose end from Hades’ Christmas challenge, do check it out!


	12. Pretty Paper

_From Wordwielder: Cards._

“Holmes, the mail’s come! And just look at all these cards, half your old clientele seems to have remembered you!”

“Oh really, which ones? And don’t tell me brother Mycroft deigned to send one of these velvet and lace monstrosities!”

“No, his telegram’s over on the mantel. Let’s see, Dr. Trevelyan... Miss Hunter... Mrs. Norton – I’m joking, Holmes, no need to colour up! Oh, and one from a Major... Prendergast, have I read that right?”

“Yes, Prendergast, a regular at the Tankerville Club. He was accused of cheating at cards, quite the scandal.”

“You cleared his name, though, I gather?”

“Of course, before a full house.”


	13. Merry Christmas, Darling

_From Aleine Skyfire: Watson and Mary fluff, please! That's all. Just fluff between these sweethearts._

“Oh, John! A kitten! Oh, isn’t she a darling? How did you know?”

“Just a feeling... And I hope you don’t mind, love, but you may have a visitor in the next day or two. The mother cat belongs to a little girl I know, and I’m sure she’d like to make certain that at least one of Mary’s kittens has a good home.”

“Yes, of course... but _Mary_ , really?”

“Oh yes, it’s quite the tale, actually. If you remember the last time we went to the theater...”

* * *

A/N: For the backstory, see chapter 3 of ‘Good Holmesians All, This Christmastide’!


	14. Now To Conclude Our Christmas Mirth

_From Spockologist: Perfection._

“Holmes, I fail to see what you’re driving at, and I’m too damn cold to play games! Now, what _is_ so instantly deducible about this particular shrub, without any leaves, flowers or fruit to be seen?”

“It’s a lemon tree, my dear Watson.”

“Oh, God... Holmes, that was perfectly awful!”

“But perfectly timed, you must admit.”

“...You’ve been saving that one up for years, haven’t you?”

“I can’t think what you mean.”


	15. We Three Kings

_From cjnwriter: There is always hope._

We three kings of Holmesian lore  
Cases brought to Baker Street door,  
Famed alliance giving clients  
Reason to hope once more.

Holder of Bohemian crown,  
Wronged my love of acting renown;  
Though Holmes thwarted, scandal sorted  
When newly-wed ex left town.

Silhouette of emperor dead,  
Sought by thieves with tresses of red;  
Coburg Bank had Holmes to thank  
That they did not lose my head.

Millionaire and husband untrue,  
Jealous wife more cruel than I knew;  
Holmes alone saw chip of stone  
As exonerating clue.

_Tales of myst’ry, tales of gore,  
Tales of crime in days of yore;  
Take a bow, Sir Arthur! How  
We wish that you had written more..._


	16. Mary, Did You Know?

_From mrspencil: Mary Morstan/Watson is caught up in one of Holmes’s investigations._

“Mrs. Wats... I mean, Mary. Do come in. If you’re looking for Watson...”

“No, John’s at his surgery. It’s you I’ve come to see, if you have a moment.”

“Any number of them. Pray be seated. Now then, what may I have the pleasure of doing for you?”

“It’s the play, Sherlock. John may have mentioned that I’ve been helping to sew costumes for a Christmas pantomime at the local school?”

“Ah yes, Cinderella, I believe.”

“Yes, and one of those costumes was a horse. It needs two people for the legs, you see...”

“I am familiar with the device, yes. Do continue.”

“Well, I had finished the main costume and returned it to the school two days ago, but the papier-mâché head needed a little more work, so I kept it overnight and finished it yesterday. When I took the head back to the school in the afternoon, I happened to hear that one of the windows in the school hall had been found broken that morning. No one thought much of it at the time, largely because a cricket ball was lying in the middle of the floor. None of the boys would admit to having broken the window, but that didn’t seem unusual, either – you know how young ones are, I’m sure – and the matter was dropped.”

“Until today.”

“Exactly. A dress rehearsal was set for this morning, but when the costume hamper was brought out, Dobbin’s... I mean, the horse costume’s head was apparently nowhere to be found. Mrs. McPherson, the music teacher, came to see me, thinking I might have taken it away again for more finishing touches, but of course I hadn’t. I’m sure it sounds foolish, Sherlock, but I simply cannot rid myself of the notion that the broken window and that missing head are connected! The only reason no one looked for any signs of forced entry in the beginning was the cricket ball...” 

“And a very clever decoy it was, too. Have you returned to the hall since Mrs. McPherson’s visit?”

“No, I came straight here. I know the solution might turn out to be perfectly ordinary, but I thought, perhaps, if you had no greater demands on your time...”

“My dear Mary, I should be delighted.”

* * *

A/N: And so begins The Adventure of the Cardboard Mane, newest episode of the Back-to-Front Adventures! Anyone feel like taking on The Lion’s Box? :D 


End file.
